Suddenly the telephone rings. They’ve kidnapped Julia and you’re expected to save her. Trouble is you only met Julia on a first date last night and although the goodnight kiss was very promising, you’re afraid saving her from the kidnappers will look like too much of a commitment.
If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars to pay the ransom, go to page 173
If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183
You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero is narrated by ‘You’, i.e. every ambivalent thirty-year-old on the planet who’s running out of time, but is terrified to make career and love life choices for fear he can’t go back and start all over again if he’s wrong.
It’s up to you whether to save the girl or give up and run away. It’s your story. All you have to do is make a choice!
To continue your adventure choose one of the following options: